Saturday, January 30, 2010

I'm From Michigan

So I love:

Faygo
Better Made Chips
The White Stripes
Electric Six
Techno
Cars
MC5
Iggy Pop
Alice Cooper
Paczkis
Coney Island Restaurants
And getting lost in Mexican Town

Also. Apparently I sound funky when I talk. (Like if I was to read that sentence aloud, I wouldn't have actually pronounced the t in apparently or the d in sound, this is called a glottal stop, by the way. I just would have kind of stopped and moved on to the next sound. And it would have been fast.) I enjoy talking about Michigan accents, so I think I'll continue on this train of thought.

So I very rarely pronounce the letter t. Like letter = ledder. But I always pronounce the g at the end of a word. Such as morning is always morning and never mornin'. Because mornin' sounds country. And I am not country. Another thing about the t. If an n is involved in the word, it gets gone entirely, such as cantaloupe. That's cannaloupe, by the way.

My friend keeps telling me about how he got in "a wreck" and I'm wondering, what on earth is a wreck? How do you get in a wreck unless you're on a boat? Apparently he's talking about a car wreck. Which I would call an "acciden". Because no one in Michigan says "wreck" unless they're talking about the ships in Superior (which is soo-peer-ier, by the way). Aunt = ant.

There's both. I say it both, but some people I grew up with say bolth. Maybe I say it both ways sometimes? Comfortable is decidedly comfterbul. I love when I ask any Canadian if they have crayons. Because when I ask, I say, "Ch have any cranz?" because firstly I say do-you too quickly for them to be distinguished as two separate words, and secondly because I butcher the pronunciation of crayons, and they honestly have no idea what I am asking to borrow.

Apparently I also say eavestrough instead of rain gutter... does no one else really call it an eavestrough? I totally thought that was normal. One of my favourites is "fridgerator". Yes. I actually say this. Yes. I realize I sound like a moron when I do. No. I do not care. Hahkee, cahlidge, pahp. Weird, right?

I like to squish words together. I am going to = imma. And such and such.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

So JD Salinger Died

Which means that this is where I talk about how great he was, and how much I loved his book.






Hahaha. You almost thought I was going to for a second there... didn't you?
I have 2 opinions about JD Salinger that I have held true to since I was about 13.

One, is that he's a pervy creeper. Yeah, he's dead. So what? Doesn't make him less of a creep and no I'm never going to retract this opinion. His relationship with Joyce Maynard was fucked. And creepy. Like. A LOT.

And the second is that, in MY opinion, The Catcher In The Rye is a TERRIBLE book. I had to read it twice in school. And it was HORRIBLE. I cannot stand Holden Caulfield. He's a whiny little rich boy who complains about phonies all the time... while being completely false himself. Stupidest book ever. Fuck Holden Caulfield and fuck Mark David Chapman. Fuck everything to do with that fucking book.


Can you tell I kinda hate it a lot?

Holy Roller Do You Feel My Flame?


I love Landon Pigg. Just saying.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

This Will Make You Moist

Oh dear.

DIRTY MARY!!!


So good.

At One Point...

William Shatner was ridiculously attractive. Like. RIDICULOUSLY. Attractive.

Oh. And this happened. Haha. Try and get that one out of your head.

You Should See Frank Turner

Like I did last night.

My friend was UUUUBER late and I nearly killed him for it. He's always late.

Frank was good. Super funny. Super English. Super musician.

It was a free show. I love free shows.

AND I ran into buddies there. Oh fun ^_^

Monday, January 25, 2010

Suicides

I miss 7-11 slurpees. The flavours up here pretty much suck. They only have coke, banana, and like... cream soda or something. I miss sour cherry and orange and that weird blue shit. I really miss suicide slurpees... which is every flavour mixed up into one slush. The best though, is layering all the good flavours. Om nom nom. This is the first year that I can remember that I'm not within reasonable walking distance of a 7-11. I suppose I did live reasonably near one in the summer though... oh well.

Punk Is Dead

Since when is Glam Rock alive again?? And why on earth did I miss the memo?!?!?



It's not new, but I'm so stoked on it.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

RAAAAAAAGEr

So tonight... last night? Something.
Anyway. I went to this... party... thing something. I don't know what to call it. But it was at Sneaky Dee's hosted by my buddy Cole and some of his friends.

My friends were going to come, but they decided to get balls-high instead and be super lazy. This is why I don't do drugs. They take away all motivation to be remotely interesting. I would know. I was definitely kind of a stoner in highschool for like 2 months.

So I told them I'd go to this thing for like 10 minutes, seeing as it would probably be lame, like all things are, but I just like to randomly turn up at places to make it seem like I have an interesting social life other than crashing my skateboard and walking to restaurants.

This plan backfired when the music was amazing. There was this crazy girl dancing on a speaker or something. I wanted to put her in my pocket and take her home. She was the most ridiculous person I have ever seen. It was great. There were actually a few ridiculous people around, now that I mention it.

The windows fogged up so I went around writing things like, "Nom Nom Tillius" and "Ich liebe RZKitty für immer" etc. AH. Since I mention dear Herr Kruspe, I would also like to take this opportunity to inform everyone that I will no longer be referring to him as Richard or Kitty. He is now "Dick". And what does Dick do? Dick plays guitar. And oh how I love Dick. Glamourous Dick is so fabbity fab and gorgey. Enough of that.

So, I met people, danced with people, and got offered every drink ever. I decided on orange juice. I'm sure I looked drunk because A. I'm a ridiculous dancer. I do not regret this at all. I live to move and I love to dance. Also, B. The floors were slippery with god-knows-what so I kept sliding around like a tipsy asshole.

Afterwards, I bought a cupcake and went to my friends' house. They have a cute cat. He's super fuzzeh. My ridiculously high friend decided to eat all of my cupcake... except for the chocolate-chips. So that was kind of a bummer. We played a fun game of trying to guess where Richard was from because I had just noticed his bizarro accent. I was really off the ball with accents today. I was talking to some Australian girl without even knowing she was Australian. Good job me.

I was going to leave, but then I walked past Chris' room and discovered that not only did he have a bass, he also had a trumpet. Fun times were had by... well. Me. Super out of tune trumpet though. And lots of 12:51 happened. Since he has an amp. And I do not. Which suuucks.

We then found a breathalizer thingy. I was the only person who blew a 0.00. After that, I left. Walked back to Sneaky's to get a cucpake for myself this time, and went home. On my way there, the street was blocked off and there were police cars all over on College between Spadina and Bathurst. I asked the media dude who was filming there what had gone on. Apparently a car hit a pedestrian.

I got myself home, wrote half this blog entry, then apparently passed out for 5 hours. And now I'm going back to sleep because it's a LAAAAZY Sudae.

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Cannibalism


I may be vegan, but I totally believe in cannibalism. Because people aren't cute and fuzzy.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

This Is Terrible

You should watch it.

SO. BAD.

Bullies And Things

So I just finished watching the movie Bully. I like scary movies, and I've heard it described as "terrifying". So I decided to watch it. I always watch "terrifying" movies and then wonder what on earth people were thinking being afraid of it. Like Paranormal Activity. Which sucked. By the way. Like. A lot.

So anyway. I watched Bully. It was um... explicit. But I found it to be quite true to life and I was amused by how much it reminded me of my own life and friends in high school. Obviously we didn't kill anyone, and I knew people who probably did that many drugs, but I was never around when they did them. And by this, I don't mean the exact situations ever happened, but like... it was very reminiscent of my life when I was seventeen, in particular. I was horrible when I was seventeen, I was mostly just under the impression that I was, in fact, eighteen and could do whatever the balls I wanted. Sorry Mum.

I didn't find it scary or frightening or anything like that. I guess because I could kind of relate to it? Maybe that's weird. But I knew those kids. I dated those kids. I was those kids. If only for 4-5 months. But I still get where they're coming from.

In conclusion, you need to watch this.



I feel like this dude would be a good dancer if he wasn't so horrible.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

MiniFridge Koolaid

So, I really like Koolaid. But I have no pitchers, and I only have a minifridge. So here's an easy solution if you find yourself in a similar predicament and would rather buy 1 pack of Koolaid mix and a bag of sugar instead of paying for the little individual packets.

What you need is:
1 Cup of sugar
1 packet of Koolaid mix
A water bottle, I used an empty vitamin water bottle
Warm water

Put the Koolaid mix in the empty bottle, measure out the sugar and carefully pour it in as well. Fill the rest of the bottle up with warm water so that the sugar melts faster. Screw the lid on tightly and then just shake it up until it's all mixed and everything is dissolved. Then just stick it in the fridge for later. When you want Koolaid, just pour some into a glass or water bottle, and add a bunch of water so that it isn't so concentrated.

So there you have it, low-space Koolaid. Loves it.

Also. Listen to this song. It's good.

Friday, January 8, 2010

$15.60

Last night, I was really hungry.

And I suppose I could have used cash. But instead, I decided to count out all the change I had, ($15.60) and bring it up to Burger King to buy some veggie burgers.

I'm surprised the lady at the counter didn't hate me when she had to count out fifteen dollars in dimes and nickels. I would have hated me.

Anyway, I got 4 veggie burgers, went home, ate them in like 20 minutes with a bunch of orange juice while watching The Princess and The Frog (which I'm pretty sure is racist) and was subsequently still hungry.

I eat a lot...

Also, talking about incurable hunger, they have energy drinks that come in bloodbags. Nast! Only... I maybe kinda want one? But mostly just to walk around drinking out of an IV bag to creep people out.

Monday, January 4, 2010

Tillius


This is Till Lindemann.

He's a beastly creep.

In theory, he shouldn't be remotely attractive. My friend David and I have come to this conclusion. He's not pretty. He's not handsome. His face is covered in scars and he has an awkward nose. Despite these facts, he's decidedly ridiculously sexy. And adorable. He's so cute. But apparently most people don't notice this?

Anyway, I'm basically in love with him. There's nothing about him I don't like.

Today is his birthday. ^_^

He's 47. I would SO hit that.

Happy Birthday Tillius.

Saturday, January 2, 2010

NYC By Day

I wrote down something every day I was in New York in a text-edit file and copied it down here for you to read. Pictures can be found at my photoblog.

day 1

december 28th, 1 pm

currently hurtling though the hair in a mechanical wannabe bird. a very nice mechanical wanna be bird at that. it's teeny tiny and there are propellers. this is ridiculous. i might love it. i want to be a pilot… flying is better when rammstein is involved. i think… the last time i was on a plane was like a year ago. a few days different perhaps. but all the same, just after christmas.

anyway. this morning, i woke up at a ridiculous hour. 4am or something. gah my life. i watched a movie, took out the trash, talked to my friend edy on skype. he's a marine stationed in japan… but at present, he's stuck in bed with a broken leg, so we talk a lot.

i left my house at about 8:30 and took the streetcar to bathurst and then the bathurst streetcar down to the docks. checked in, waited 3 minutes for the ferry, and then went though aeroport security which didn't take long. i refuse to check bags anymore. too much hassle.

porter airlines has a lounge. best. lounge. ever. like. seriously. free wi-fi… which doesn't actually work all that well, but whatever. there were also free snacks and drinks. it was kind of like heaven. and there were couches. like, omg. insanity. best place ever!!

december 28th, 3 pm

in the hotel lobby. talked to some cool aussies who told me what i should see here. walked from penn station to my hotel. TOTALLY gobsmacked the entire way. this place is absolutely insane. everywhere i look there are buildings. i guess i'm in chelsea right now, apparently this is the gay area/ where nancy spungen died. i need a map.

december 28th, 6 pm

got into my hotel room. it's rather excellent. figured out how to work the internetz. yayme. i might go out nightshooting in times square tonight. and maybe near the rockefeller centre to shoot the tree. i'm so stoked on using my holga for long exposure night shooting. i'll wait until the day comes to use my SLR to take pix since i don't have a flash with it.

my knee still killllllls, but i'm definitely waiting until i get back to toronto to do anything about that. since healthcare is free and all and i'd rather not ruin my vacation by spending it in a hospital or whatever. it's not that bad anyway.

best part of today so far was seeing manhattan from the air.

day 2

december 29th, 5 am

this morning i woke up to a toasty warm room, which was quite nice. before breakfast, i will attempt to figure out what to do today. i really kind of want to go to ellis island, maybe up to times square… so much to do and see… i'm not sure where to start. insanity. however, i know i'll be the insane explorer my parents taught me to be and i will take hold of every opportunity instead of staying in bed. also, my knee feels muuuuch better this morning. sleep fixes all. i'm sure it'll hurt by the end of the day though.

december 29th, 12 pm

it is COLD. good. lord. i'm back at my hotel because i wasn't expecting it to be this cold so i didn't bring my coat and thought i'd be fine in just a sweatshirt and flannel. woops. i was wrong.

i had breakfast at seven, then headed out. i walked up 6th avenue to the rockefeller centre. went to the top of the rock thingy. it was cool. the elevator ride was terrifying. they thought it would be a good plan to make the ceiling see-through and have lights all the way up so that it felt like you were going into warp speed or something. horrifyingly not awesome.

the view from up there was insanely cool. and it was also freezing. there was this reeeealy strange room where it was all white, and you walk in and lights follow you around. i was never red, only green and then blue. some people were getting married up there. i felt bad for them, it was really windy so it made it extra cold up there. but it was a cute idea.

i stopped in at the starbucks in trump tower for a tea. just to say i'd been in trump tower, of course. it was ridiculously gaudy in there. just what i'd expect it to be like.

after that, i went towards central park. stopped in at the very weird apple store there. it's this glass cube above ground, and then you walk below ground where the actual store is. very cool. i was going to go to central park, but i was cold, so i decided to go buy a metro pass and go to ellis island and the statue of liberty instead. but there was a really long line when i got there, so i decided to just come back to my hotel and get my coat instead and go back later.

december 29th, 2:30 pm

went to times square. hated it. will write long and detailed blog entry all about exactly why i detest it so much. didn't stop, just walked on through and up to central park. i like central park MUUUCH better than times square. it's nice and naturey and it was quite empty and quiet due to today's weather. i was going to go to ellis island, but decided to get warm and rested back here at the hotel and then go to dinner. i don't want to do everything in one day and feel rushed about it. i think i'll go first thing tomorrow or something. but one day i'll have to devote to a subways and photography excursion of the outer boroughs.

day 3

december 30th, 9 pm

today was lazy. really lazy. tomorrow will be better.

day 4

december 31st, 4 pm

today i went to the statue of liberty and ellis island. the statue of liberty is smaller than it looks on television. but i liked it a lot. people were making snow men on the lawn beneath it. i took some pictures. i took pictures with my holga which was fun. the funny part was where my friend thought it was a fake camera. hahaha. ellis island was pretty cool. i wouldn't want to be stuck there with a bunch of people though. it looked like it could have been really unpleasant. for dinner/late lunch, i went to red bamboo, which everyone was telling me i HAD to go to. definitely worth it. super yummeh food. i wish there was one in toronto.

i'm watching kill bill right now, but i'm kind of tired and i'm not sure what i'll do tonight. or tomorrow, for that matter. my mum wanted pictures from up top of the empire state building, but i'm not sure i want to pay the money for it when i've already been to the rockefeller centre and gotten pictures from the top of it. i'm pretty sure it'll be pretty much the same. i'd rather venture deeper into central park or something.

day 5

january 1st, 10 am

i think i broke my toe. apparently i will not be venturing deep into central park today. bummer.

day 6

january 2nd, 8 pm

the only good thing about yesterday was getting vegan food delivered to my hotel for less than fifteen dollars. badass. and it was SUUUCH good food. i might have to move to NYC for the food alone. nom.

flight home was pretty chill. got pulled over for extra security check. apparently i seem like the type of person who lies on their customs sheet. but i wasn't lying. i actually didn't buy anything in new york. i bought food and admissions to touristy things. but no souvenirs. that's okay though. maybe next time. i still want that walken cowbell shirt.