Piercings

When I was growing up, my parents made me wait until I was 7 to get my ears pierced.
I had to wait until I was 14 to get the upper part of my ear pierced.
It wasn't until I was 15 that they'd let me get my navel pierced.

And that was the last piercing they actually "let" me get.

When I was 14, I gave myself my very own surface piercings over my hips... since I did it myself, that didn't work out all so well and I took them out soon after. My mum saw the scars a little while later and I told her they were mosquito bites or something.

When I was 16, I got my second holes done in my ears over in Windsor. I asked. My parent said no (I don't even know why. It's such a basic piercing.) and then I did it anyway. When I was 17, I got my 3rd holes done without even asking.

I didn't bother asking when I was 17 and got my tongue pierced with my friend just after we won marching band finals. They'd specifically told me at some point that I definitely couldn't get my tongue pierced until I was no longer living with them.

When I was 16, I saved up for months to have a bunch of my own money for our summer trip to the UK. I figured I'd be left on my own at some point in Edinburgh, and planned on it. Checking out the local piercing parlours on the net and seeing which I could get to pierce my nipples. Unfortunately, all of my money and passport got stolen while out shopping the very morning I'd planned to visit the parlour! Worst luck ever and I was ridiculously pissed.

When I was 17, my mother took me to get my first tattoo. A week later, I got my tongue pierced. And exactly a week after that, my friends and I went to go get her tongue pierced, and ended up both getting our nipples pierced as well. Finally.

On the first of January, 2008, I got my inverse navel pierced as my friend got her regular one done.

In the summer, just after I'd turned 18, I got my tongue pierced twice on each side, which is called "venoms", if you didn't know.

In October, I got my upper lip pierced twice, which is "angel bites". That's the last piercing I got while still living with my parent(s)... they didn't even live together then.

In December, I got my lower lip pierced twice on one side, a "spider bite".

And then I moved to Toronto and in March, got my septum pierced, which is the one that sometimes hides up my nose.

In the summer, I got my right nipple re-pierced as I'd taken my old piercings out nearly a year previously for rugby. I'd actually meant to get my inverse navel re-done, but they refused to do it as it's a spot that is prone to rejection. Clearly I'll have to get around to getting it redone elsewhere.

In August of 2009, I got a surface piercing over my collarbone, which I loved and was awesome. It was my third surface piercing, and the only one I'd had professionally done.

In early November, I got snakebites, which is two lip piercings, one on either side of my mouth. I'd rather like to get them re-done, as obviously I no-longer have them.

And I've not gotten any new piercings since then... that's an entire year.

If you've been paying attention, that's a total of 25 piercings. I currently only have 3. And there's only 4 that my parents ever actually let me get.

I don't even know why they were always so anal about it. "Oh, you have to be sure." No you don't. That's such ridiculous bullshit. Piercings are so temporary. If they weren't, I'd be full of holes. Obviously. But am I? No. You take them out. They heal over. No harm done.

"Oh, what will people think?" Do I honestly seem like the type of person who cares what people think? I've got my fucking fingers tattooed. Why on earth would I care?

I'm sure it had more to do with "What kind of parents will our friends think we are if our daughter is full of metal?" Well, I'm (not) sorry to break it to anyone, but I really don't care what anyone thinks. If I ever convince myself that vomiting isn't *THAT* bad and manage to become a parent, I'll be so much more lenient about piercings. Like really.

So Mum. I know you read my blog. Tell me, what's the real reason I wasn't allowed piercings growing up?

Like A Ruler

I'm straight.

Not gay. Not bi. Not anything other than straight.

I get really annoyed when people assume that I'm anything other than heterosexual... because I'm not. I don't want people to think I'm gay or bi.

"Why? What's wrong with being gay or bi?"

Nothing. Nothing at all is wrong with being gay. So why does it matter? Because I don't like people thinking I'm anything that I'm not.

Try and call me German and see how pissy I get then.

I'm not German, I'm Austrian.
I'm not Mexican, I'm Spanish.
I'm not 'First Nations', I'm Native American.
I'm not Italian, nor Russian, nor Polish, nor Swedish...

I am what I am. There's nothing wrong with what I am not.
But it's so annoying for people to assume that I'm anything other than what I am.

It's annoying if you think my favourite colour is blue instead of black. Or if you think I play guitar instead of bass. Or that I ski rather than snowboard. I can't stand that people always assume that my parents are a straight couple, rather than lesbians who adopted me, could you be any more narrow minded? I hate that, upon mentioning I have two moms, people still ask "what about your dad" or "is one of them your step mom?" or "which one is your real mom?" ... they're BOTH my real mom. Ugh. Assumptions in general are annoying.

I'd rather people thought nothing of me at all until they either asked or I mentioned it.

I wish I were German and Swedish, and that I could ski as well as snowboard. I wish I knew how to play guitar as well as bass. I'd like to not be American. But I can't change what I am. So don't say I'm anything but what I am.

It's SO very irritating.

Wednesday

As a small child, when I grew up, I wanted to be Wednesday Addams.

I still want to be Wednesday Addams. I've never actually consciously tried to have the same interests as her, or to be like her... and honestly, I'd forgotten I had wanted to be just like her. But now that I recall, and think further about it, we're actually quite alike. I guess this just leaves growing up to be a Dinosaur as well. I'm sure I'll succeed in that too, because clearly I've become Wednesday Addams without even trying.

"Wednesday's child is full of woe."
It's funny. Because I was actually born on a Wednesday.
Obviously.

Oh, Lawyers

HOMICIDE, n. The slaying of one human being by another.
There are four kinds of homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable,
and praiseworthy, but it makes no great difference to the person slain
whether he fell by one kind or another — the classification is for
advantage of the lawyers. --Ambrose Bierce

Yay Alcohol!

I've finally discovered a good use for alcohol!!!

I have a bunch in my freezer because people seem to think it makes a good present.
I have no idea why, seeing as I don't drink.

But anyway. When I got home, I clumsily tripped over a whole bunch of nothing and now have the most disgustingly huge bump on my ankle. After freaking out about it for just a sec and realizing I had no ice cubes or anything like that, I remembered that I have a bunch of icy cold bottles of alcohol in the fridge.

So thanks to this little bottle of Bacardi Rum, the swelling is already going down!

Teenage Dream

Dirty Mary > Katy Perry

Darren Criss > Katy Perry

Dirty Mary ≥ Darren Criss


DIRTY MARY
(It's live and a bit awful. But this is my favourite song ever.)


Katy Perry
...not half as good as...


Darren Criss

Caturday

My Heart Stops When You Look At Me

Darren Criss is on Glee next week!
This is the most amazing song ever. They do it so well.
I've been listening to it since it first showed up on my tumblr dashboard.
I love love love Darren, and have done since I first saw A Very Potter Musical (in which he plays Harry. It's hilarious and you need to watch it.) a while ago.
Also, his character sounds AMAZING. He's playing an proudly out and very confident gay boy... which is exactly what both Kurt and mainstream television have been needing.
Plus Darren is totally gorgeous. And he went to U of M!

Shh... Just Come

Love Is Where's Wally?

I once heard that "love is like a carton of milk" and that "you try and make the milk last as long as you can and have it be as fresh and pure as it can be because then it's better" or somesuch. But of course that's a complete load of steaming bullshit.

I don't even know anyone who feels that way about milk. I certainly don't. I usually end up drinking the entire carton the same day I've bought it. And anyway, pure milk... everyone knows that chocolate milk is better than plain milk anyway. I mean. I don't think so, but I have a weird obsession with drinking plain milk.

Which is another thing. Why the fuck would you want to compare love to something people basically use as a condiment? I mean, most adults use milk as something to enhance other things with. Like putting it into tea, coffee, or cereal. It's not the main event, it's just like ketchup or salt. Do you really want to compare love to a bottle of ketchup?

No. I didn't think so.

Because love isn't like a carton of milk and no one tries to make those last anyway. The point is to drink the milk. Enjoy the milk. And then get more. Cartons of milk are like orgasms. Not love.

Love is like a Where's Wally book. You buy the book to look for Wally in some huge drawing and you get tricked by a few people wearing that same hat or sweater, but eventually, after being annoyed and searching long enough, you find him. And you're like, FUCK YEAH! I FOUND WALLY! And then after a while, you sortof forget where Wally was exactly, but you pick up the book again oneday, and you go, oh yeah, I sortof remember this page... I think he was near the mermaids. And sure enough, there he is, hiding right behind them.

If it's real, it lasts forever, even if you have to work it through sometimes to remember where it is and how it goes.

But I have no interest in love and no patience to go fannying about looking for it. I'd so much rather spend my entire life single. Mostly because I can't stand anyone else's bullshit and I never really even liked Where's Wally anyway.

I Wanna Do It Let's Draw Straws

Every year, I have an obsession that begins in mid October and lasts until just after Christmas. That is The Nightmare Before Christmas. My two favourite songs are Kidnap the Sandy Claws and Oogie Boogie's Song. Talking of the first one, here is an amazing cover by She Wants Revenge. And some other goodies.

Peronal Problems

I know that phrase is supposed to be polite... but all I can think of when I read it is an assortment of the most horribly embarrassing things anyone could imagine. As though said issues are things like:

Constant masturbation and genital chafing
Chronic flatulence
Incontinence
Extreme panic attacks caused by the thought of gerbils

... and such, and such.