Fake Meat

I fucking hate it when people go through the trouble to make me something vegetarian... and then add in fake meat. Like, oh, you can't eat the one with actual meat in it, so here's the same thing, but with fake meat!

Oh. Great. Just what I wanted...

But not really.

The reason I don't eat meat is not because I think animals shouldn't be eaten. If I did, I'd probably take issue with cooking meat, but making a baked chicken is my favourite thing ever... as long as I don't have to eat it. I don't eat meat because I think it's fucking disgusting.
Except for bacon. That shit is magical.

I don't like the way it feels. I don't like the way it looks. I don't like the way it tastes.
Why on earth would I want to eat a synthetic reproduction of it? EW.

I know people are trying to be nice and inclusive and what-not... but seriously? Please just replace the meat with actual veggies instead of veggies pretending to be meat.

Another thing is that since I dont eat meat, you must substitute it with tofu at all times...

Please don't. Firstly, I don't need it. Just veg really is fine. Secondly, too much tofu makes you a porker. And third, if you feel the need to replace meat with tofu, you probably don't know how to cook it correctly and just please don't bother. It's fine without it. Really. I promise.

Now, I'm not trying to complain and say that my roommates are horrible cooks; because they're not! Most of the food they make is quite nice. And I really appreciate their vegetarian efforts.

It's just that tonight, there were like. Some sort of veggies, and then two bowls of ground-beef. One was actually ground-beef, and the other was fake meat. And it was totally separate from the veg, which was super awesome because I fucking hate beef, fake or otherwise. It smells gross and kind of reminds me of poop. Not appetizing at all.

So I just had veg. and then was offered fake ground beef, which I turned down, mentioning that I don't like fake meat. Everyone was all shocked and like, "YOU NEVER SAID SO BEFORE".

You don't WANT to know all of the things I don't like and will refuse to eat if I can get away with it. Someone brought up chili that had been made last week with fake meat in it... but I never actually got around to eating that... and anyway, of course I don't LIKE eating the fake meat, but if it's in something already and I can't easily get rid of it, I'll eat it anyway. But tonight, it was separate, so since I think it's fucking nasty, I didn't have any. I don't really see the problem with that... "It's part of the meal," blah blah. Okay... so why do I have to eat all of every meal when I specifically don't like something? I wasn't the only one who doesn't eat ground beef, so it's not like the fake meat stuff was expressly made for me. Our project leader doesn't eat red meat at all, so it was for her too.

I sometimes just don't eat at all as I'm occasionally not hungry. It has nothing to do with what was made and everything to do with what my stomach is doing at dinner time. If I'm fucking starving but the food looks gross or is something I don't really like, I'll eat it anyway because being hungry isn't fun. But honestly. I don't care if I hurt your feelings by not eating when I'm not hungry. My number one rule is "never eat when you're not hungry" because it just makes you feel really gross. Get over it and realize that it's not the food. It's that I'm not fucking hungry.

As for the list of all foods I have no interest in eating... keep in mind, I'm an insanely picky eater:
Blueberries
Celery
Seafood
Lima beans
All meat but bacon, turkey bacon is also acceptable
All fake meat
All types of melon
Hard boiled eggs
Lasagna
Most Italian food
Indian food
Mexican food
Coffee
Green beans
Oatmeal
Most breakfast foods
Plain cheese (uncooked and not in anything. fucking ew.)
All pie except: cherry, strawberry rhubarb, chocolate, and banana cream
Cake (i only like cupcakes)
Most mushrooms
Pears
Currants
Figs
Dates
Coconut (i ONLY like it fresh)
Noni (who would ever want to eat one of these?????)

And the list goes on.

Anyway, it's far too much trouble to even mention any of this to my roommates... so I'm not sure why they get so offended when I won't eat something. "Oh, first you eat chicken, now you don't, blah blah". Don't even worry about it. My eating or not, is not your issue. I'll eat what I want... and I'll deal with it if you make something I won't eat. Why even worry about it?

My hatred of eating has nothing to do with you.

Pretty Sweet

It's pretty fucking awesome when a kid who can't concentrate on hardly anything, doesn't seem too interested in much, and gets in trouble a lot, can't stop asking me about the book I'm reading.

It's Harry Potter. He's in first grade and saw the cover when we were working on sentences. He asked how the boy on the front got the scar on his forehead. I said it was from a man who tried to kill him when he was a baby. A man who talks to snakes. And that he grew up being bullied by his cousin and aunt and uncle.

Tomorrow, I'll ask his teacher if it'd be cool for me to read it to him for a bit. He just kept asking question after question about it.

It got me so stoked.

And Then There Were Ten

Tonight, we got super shitty news.
One of our group members, Antoine, is leaving tomorrow.

He'll probably maybe still be in town, living with some friends of his here, but it's still shitty that he won't be our roommate/housemate/katimamate anymore.

He's a really great guy and although group situations don't really go to well with him, he's great when you get him one on one, so it's really unfortunate that he'll be leaving us.

Not to pass judgement on anyone who would come in to fill his spot, but I really hope no one does. We all have an understanding of each other now and a family dynamic. I think it would be really hard for anyone to come in and try to belong... they'd be like the outsider cousin or something.

ON THE BRIGHT SIDE.

I got a huge German flag for my bed. It's so reclusive now. There's my Union Jack at the foot, the German flag covering from the foot to about my shoulders, and the rest of the way is covered by the wanted poster flag thing of Jim Morrison that I got when I was in Melbourne. So that's super nice.

My bunk-mate Emily got a... mosquito netting thing? I don't know how to describe it. One of those princessy things that hangs from the ceiling and floats over your bed... it's really long and covers my lower bunk too. I like it. Everyone else has kindof normal beds. Sarah's got a blanket barrier for her bunk, but just on the one side, and Isabelle has the Quebec flag hanging at the foot of her bed, but no one else's looks as insane as ours.

I also bought Lethal Weapon 1 and 2 since they were on sale and I couldn't resist, as well as some really cute and comfy Burton pinguin socks. I was going to buy this sweet pair of Volcom socks, but then realized they weren't at all in my size which was disappointing. But honestly, I like the Burton ones better, so whatever.

We're so busy this week. I'm really glad I have the latter half of my mornings working in the library. It lets me just chill out and read Harry Potter for an hour or so. Usually like two hours.

I was ridiculously excited to be house manager the week after next, but now I'm starting to plan what food I want to make with Paul and it's kind of freaking me out. I'm not sure how to get the correct balance of meat for everyone else. I mean, for me personally, I can just leave the meat out of whatever I'm making, but I'm not sure how much meat everyone else wants... Seeing as I've never really been a fan of meat anyway, I really wouldn't know. So far, I still have to plan 5 dinners. All the other meals, I've got ideas and recipes for.

Paul wants Indian food and some Alfredo. So I planned a coronation chicken curry dinner for Wednesday. And I think we could do the Alfredo either Friday or Saturday. I really want to avoid beef in the menu as it is my least favourite meat. I planned a ham and cheese toastie for one of the lunches, and can just leave ham out of mine, which is fine... but I honestly don't even want to touch beef. It icks me out so bad.

As Someone Who Knows How It Feels...

I think it's pretty shitty that some people won't medicate their kids who have ADHD and just leave them to be in trouble at school and teased by their peers when they can't help it. "/

You Don't Know

That song I recited at my mother's funeral?
The one you all loved the words to.
The one you all asked me about.
So that you could get it on itunes.


The thing you don't know about those lovely, fitting lyrics is...

They're screamed.

Even though you won't see what I'm seeing, I would love for you to feel what I'm feeling. The impact and the ease after. Rest assured that the pain will fade. Right outside the inspiration is told, I'll carry on what I know. That is what I need for my sickness, a transition to new medium. Breakaway from the world and stick to rhythm. Rust assured that the pain will fade. If I don't walk blindside, I'll roll right. If I hold sight, I'll roll right. I'm sure we see that same way, just not from the same place. I need a medium. I need a balance. - Hot Water Music, "Rest Assured".

Same Hair

I'm not allowed hairdye in the katimahaus in case anything gets stained.

Other than that, it's pretty fucking awesome here. As you can see from the photos I posted last time, it's fucking beautiful. Everyone is really, really great. We all get along really well.

We got our work positions on Tuesday, and went for the first time Wednesday.

My friend Simon and I work at an elementary school with the most charming and adorable children I could imagine. I definitely wasn't anything like that when I was their age.

I think Simon has a harder time than I do, because their french isn't as good as his, but he can't really speak all that much in English to them either. So... yeah.

We went to a "café" on lunch that was just up the street. It was horrible. It was supposed to be like... Louisiana food. Everything had meat in, and I guess I haven't mentioned, but I'm a vegetarian again. Being vegan is too annoying for everyone else here.

The man sitting at the table behind us was like some crazy retired trucker or something. I accidentally made eye contact with him, and he started talking at us... but we really couldn't understand what he was saying, so we were just like, UH... >_> and laughing so hard about it. It was terrible. I felt so bad, because Simon was facing him, so he just kept looking and talking at him while Simon was going like, "OMG, HELP. ME." and I couldn't really do anything.

After that, we found the café we'd meant to go to in the first place. They have even veggie burgers there! Much better.

The only downside right now is that I'm ill with a cold and we have to walk like half an hour to work through the snow, across town at like 8am. But the school and staff and kids are all really great, so it's worth it I guess.

Now I'll have solid references about working well with children so that I can be an au pair at some point.

Anyway, it's nearly eleven and I'm sick and rather exhausted, so I am going to bed.

I hope to get a cheap bike soon to ride to and from work.

Alberta

In Alberta. It's boss. Took pictures.