Arthur Christmas: A Summary... And Things

I often forget that I absolutely adore children's movies. Mostly because they're fucking ridiculous.

Hint: Robots is one of my favourite movies. I should probably watch that next.

I'm watching Arthur Christmas right now and it's like 7am and everyone is asleep so I'm trying not to be loud, but ohmygod, a fucking dead rat just fell out of a trumpet in this animated kids' movie and I can't stop laughing about it. This is like actually the greatest movie ever.

All I knew about it before was that Bill Nighy was in it and played like Grandpa Santa or something like that. Also, that they had a special on at Denny's in which they had christmas cookie shakes and pancakes. Which were excellent, in the event that you were wondering how it was to have cookie bits in your shakes and pancakes. Yum!

Anyway. I found out James McAvoy was in this and was apparently adorable in it, so I decided to watch it because really what else have I to do at 7am?

Basically, it's about this guy Arthur (McAvoy), who is the youngest son of Santa (Jim Broadbent). He's really clumsy and kind of fail, so he's pretty much been banished to the letters department of the North Pole in which he reads and replies to all the letters to Santa. His older brother Steve (Hugh Laurie) is in charge of the whole present delivery operation and he runs that from the North Pole. It's basically that there's a bunch of mission control elves and they control things from the command room at the North Pole, and then the presents get delivered by a bunch of specialist elves in a futuristic aircraft shaped like a massive sleigh. Santa pretty much delivers one present per country by himself because he's a. really old, and b. not really good at it anymore or something. Grandsanta (Nighy) is the former Santa and tells stories about how he delivered presents during wars with reindeer, a sleigh, and a drunken elf. So basically, they miss delivering some girl's twinkle bike in the initial go-around, so Grandsanta and Arthur bust out the old sleigh and the reindeer and go to deliver it themselves.

Also. Grandsanta has some ridiculous old pet reindeer that has a surgery cone on it. And, the version I'm watching is from some ripped DVD that was supposed to be used for award consideration. So it's perfect aside from the occasional "FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION" across the bottom of the screen. It's nice to watch a brand new movie from my computer without shitty filmed-in-cinema sound or people walking across the screen. Because that totally happens to me all the time.

(I'm actually technically live-blogging my first time watching this.)

The movie is totally gorgeous. The storyline, the animation, the score.
They sail on this sleigh through the Northern Lights, amongst narwhals, AND almost run into the fucking CN Tower, which was super rad as I wasn't really expecting to see Toronto at Christmas this year. I kind of miss it. Also. They nearly run into City Hall. Ohgod. Best line, "The Santa's always come through Canada! No one lives here! It's nice and quiet!" And then they lose a reindeer somewhere in the middle of Toronto. Hilarity.

Anyway, they get lost in Idaho, get shot at, accidentally impersonate a flying saucer by getting tangled in lights, and end up in Africa. Which Grandsanta assures Arthur is France. "They have elephants in France?!" "The odd stray. They breed in the drains."

Back at the North Pole, Steve is freaking out that Grandsanta has escaped as the occasional wild old person does. He digs up the old head of sleigh communications to get some ancient type-writer-esque machine used for contacting the old sleigh out and get it up and running.

MEANWHILE ON THE SERENGETI, Arthur, and elf, and Grandsanta are surrounded by lions who want to eat them. Arthur is attempting to pacify them with his fuzzy light-up slippers and singing. They escape, and, after a struggle, fly away.

Using GPS, they finally make it to the girl's house to deliver her bike. Only then Grandsanta throws a crabby bitchfit and refuses to come in to deliver the present so Arthur and the elf, Bryony, do it instead. They set off the alarm, but deliver the bike anyway... only there's already a bike there, at which point they discover that they're actually in Mexico, not England as they should be. And just when you think they'll make it... they end up stranded in Cuba.

The elves all wake Santa up and ask if he's actually missed a child. He sort-of brushes it off which leads to them asking why that one doesn't matter and why, if she doesn't matter, Arthur and Grandsanta have gone to deliver her present. And then the elves freak out and start asking Steve if it's true that children aren't real, and are only made of anti-matter. And then Steve throws a hissy-fit and walks out singing and leaves all the complex technology up to Santa because he's angry that his father didn't retire and leave being Santa to him. Also, it show-cases Hugh Laurie's wonderful singing voice.

Arthur, Bryony the elf, Grandsanta, and the ridiculously old reindeer escape from Cuba in a stolen rowboat. Grandsanta tells them how reindeer are actually morons and will just fly in a straight line round and round the world. They devise a plan to get back into the sleigh. Arthur miraculously ends up back in the sleigh, manages to stop it, and "steer" it back down to the others, after which Grandsanta takes over because Arthur is a shit driver.

Santa, Mrs. Claus, and Steve take the sleigh shaped space-ship out to deliver Gwen her present on the assumption that Arthur and Grandsanta will be epic fail at it. They don't actually tell the elves that they're leaving, though, which causes a panic. They think the Santas are leaving and that Christmas doesn't matter (seeing as perhaps children don't matter either, seeing as one was missed and a big deal wasn't immediately made about it) which leads them to press some sort of panic button that cancels Christmas.

Back in the sleigh, they manage to break past Earth's atmosphere to finally see where they're going. Coming back down through the atmosphere, as one would expect, sets the sleigh ablaze with friction. They're leaving a trail of flames and they loose their three remaining reindeer and end up plummeting down through the clouds. The incredibly old pet reindeer of Grandsanta shakes it's surgical cone off and jumps to the rescue in front of the sleigh. They're worried about being spotted, so they use the UFO camouflage setting to disguise the sleigh as a flying saucer. Which is hilarious.

Meanwhile, defence leaders of the world are having a video meeting about safety threats to the planet because they actually think the planet is being invaded by aliens. It doesn't help that the sleigh goes into UFO mode a few seconds before it shows up on the defence cameras and is subsequently the first view of it they get. So, some aircraft ends up following them, attracted by the electronics in Arthur's slippers. They all abandon sleigh and it gets blown up, which is quite sad as it was a thing of beauty.

The spacesleigh ends up in Trelew and Steve goes down to deliver an upgraded bike... and realises that they've ended up in Mexico. They then high-tail it over to England where Arthur is managing to deliver the present. ...also where a slightly delerious Grandsanta is driving around in a garbage can pulled by his old pet reindeer. All three rush into the house to fight over who gets to deliver the present first. Santa decides that Arthur should do it and subsequently become the new Santa.

In the end everyone is happy, which is nice.

Anyway... that has been a summary. In the event that you were wondering the entire plot of Arthur Christmas but didn't want to go see it. But it's slightly sad because it's definitely worth seeing but now I've gone and spoiled it for you all. I'm sorry.

So yeah. This has been a blog.

I Wanna Do It Let's Draw Straws

Every year, I have an obsession that begins in mid October and lasts until just after Christmas. That is The Nightmare Before Christmas. My two favourite songs are Kidnap the Sandy Claws and Oogie Boogie's Song. Talking of the first one, here is an amazing cover by She Wants Revenge. And some other goodies.

I Really Really Like The Malfoys

I do. A lot.

For one, they're pretty.

And also wealthy and powerful. Which is attractive.

And yeah, I mean, they're sort of dicks, but I'm kind of a dick too, so it's okay.

My parents always thought I was a nutter for liking them so much because they're "evil". But they're really not at all. Voldemort was evil. And yet I still like him so much more than George W. Bush. Wonder way... But that's really neither here nor there.

My point is that the Malfoys really aren't all that bad. Lucius was super high ranking in terms of Death Eaters, but I think that has more to do with the fact that he's a wealthy and powerful man. As well as being a slimey, sneaky git. I'm sure his descicion to join Voldemort had a lot more to do with wanting to not be dead than it did actual like of the dark lord.

Like really, what else was he supposed to do? As the heir of a prominent pure-blood wizarding family, I feel like he didn't really have another choice that would have left him alive. Yeah, he tortured some muggles, but then again, so did Severus Snape, and everyone still loves him.

Why not love the Malfoys as well? Harry Potter certainly owes his life to Narcissa, seeing as she covered for him and pretended like he was dead. And yeah, this was only for her own benefit in that she and Lucius could go look for Draco and make sure he was safe... but that's kind of adorable isn't it?

Clearly the Malfoy family are very close and love each other muchly. Much more than they care about serving the dark lord, obviously. And family is important. I guess they're more cowardly than anything. And that's not too terrible of a trait.

Anyway, that's all I have to say on that. I can't wait for the new movie to come out... less than a month now!

Oh Hey

I was in a movie. Apparently.

I even have like... close ups.

Which are some-what mortifying...
because like. I'm definitely way shyer than I seem.

And like Till Lindemann, I am highly weirded out by people like... staring at me.

So I just got back from the film premier. Hahaha.

And I don't think I've ever blushed so hard in my entire life. Or laughed so hard in an "oh god people are looking at my face, fuck me and my life this is terrible" sort of way.

SO... to see my sweaty mug stealing a guitar pic for my friend, go buy Silverstein's DVD tomorrow. It's called Decade and should be in any music store for less than $20.

Your Milkshake

I drink it.
I drink it up.

I Sent Two Letters Back In Autumn

I've devoted my night to uploading most of my CD collection into my computer. About 1/4 of my CD collection I got from my ex-boyfriend Brad. He was always so much better at stealing music than I was.

...Possibly because he would break into cars and remove peoples' CD cases in order to do so? Whereas I just download things off of the internet. My way doesn't include album art. Oh my life.

Anyway, my CD collection reminds me of my Vinyl collection... which my mum probably sold. Which irks me a little bit because I had a copy of Their Satanic Majesties Request with the rather rare 3D cover... among other things that I'd rather keep in my possession. Oh well. I think she sold my DVD collection as well. I'm just going to try not to think about things like that.

This Will Make You Moist

Oh dear.

Bullies And Things

So I just finished watching the movie Bully. I like scary movies, and I've heard it described as "terrifying". So I decided to watch it. I always watch "terrifying" movies and then wonder what on earth people were thinking being afraid of it. Like Paranormal Activity. Which sucked. By the way. Like. A lot.

So anyway. I watched Bully. It was um... explicit. But I found it to be quite true to life and I was amused by how much it reminded me of my own life and friends in high school. Obviously we didn't kill anyone, and I knew people who probably did that many drugs, but I was never around when they did them. And by this, I don't mean the exact situations ever happened, but like... it was very reminiscent of my life when I was seventeen, in particular. I was horrible when I was seventeen, I was mostly just under the impression that I was, in fact, eighteen and could do whatever the balls I wanted. Sorry Mum.

I didn't find it scary or frightening or anything like that. I guess because I could kind of relate to it? Maybe that's weird. But I knew those kids. I dated those kids. I was those kids. If only for 4-5 months. But I still get where they're coming from.

In conclusion, you need to watch this.



I feel like this dude would be a good dancer if he wasn't so horrible.

Christmas Comes But Once A Year

My favourite Christmas movie is only 8 minutes long.

500 Days Of... Who?

So I watched 500 Days Of Summer just now and was a little weirded out. I've never seen anyone in a movie who has so much in common with me than Summer does. She's even from Michigan.

I didn't realize no one else liked Ringo best.

I also watched New Moon. SNORE. What a crap excuse for a movie. Robert Pattinson looks like a foot. Seriously. And Kristen Stewart and Taylor Lautner can't act. I'm glad I watched it for free online rather than wasting my money in theaters.

I got half-way through watching The Haunting of Winchester House before I decided that I'd rather not watch it alone and would save it for the next time I hang out with some boy. Because I'm a total idiot and I found it terrifying to the point that I was grabbing onto my ratpillow and screaming.

I'm so lame.

Smitten For The Mitten

This post is not about Michigan or my tattoo. However, it does involve Chiodos. But first...

Back when I went to college, I had French in the morning, and Russian in the evening at the same campus which was in ButtFuck Egypt, so I would have to stay there all day. After French, my friend Amanda and I would go eat pizza and bread sticks in the dining area and browse stuff on our computers, then we would head up to her American History class. I wasn't in this class at all, but that was the only room where I could actually get the internet on my laptop in the whole school.

The teacher thought I was actually in the class and that my name was Alexandra Hamilton. Historical throwback... see what I did there? I know you do. Anyway. I was his favourite student since I was the only one who actually knew answers, asked questions, and participated in class discussions... and I aced all of the tests without having a book or studying!!! And without being enrolled in the class... Shear Genius. Heh.

I would also like to address the film "Paranormal Activity". THIS MOVIE IS TERRIFYING!!!!!!!!! ...to wimps. I don't find myself in this category, so I merely found myself bored. I'm fairly certain I just don't scare easily or something. Def. reminded me of a time I was in Scotland on some ghosty tour with my mum and we were in this dark room and I wanted to sneak behind the tourguide who was facing us in the pitch black and like... make him shit his pants or whatever by jumping out and grabbing him, but instead, two people were clinging onto me for dear life in sheer terror as I laughed my ass off at the person who ran in to attempt to frighten all of us. Didn't work on me.

Some people have said, "Oh... but it's scarier if you actually believe in ghosts and such!" Well newsflash, I DO BELIEVE IN GHOSTS! But I also believe in good acting... which was not in this film!!! So. Bad. It had me laughing. Only, the thing is, unlike the movie Wrong Turn, which is absolutely abysmally bad to the point that it is hilariously good, Paranormal Activity was just bad. And boring.

Now for the Chiodos part...
The song Smitten for the Mitten is basically amazing and I'm suddenly even more glad I have it as a tattoo.

This is all.

Updating Phail

Sorry about being crap at updating regularly.

We are currently in the middle of the Toronto International Film Festival, which means that TDot has basically turned into Hollywood North or whatever for the week or so. So. I would like to direct everyone's attention to this post on my other blog about Ewan McGregor. Read it and then come back.

...ok. You're back.
So. The other day I was a the gala presentation of his new film, "Men Who Stare At Goats" which also stars George Clooney. Anyway, the film looks absolutely hilarious. You can find trailers for it here. Anyway, the reason I went was because I heard Ewan McGregor was in town and that he would be there and for the past 11 years, all I've really ever wanted was to see him in person, from a far, up close, whatever.

I showed up, squished my way to the front and was handed some VHS sleeves to get signed for someone since I didn't have anything for them to sign. It was Moulin Rouge and Batman, by the way. Anywho, the first person to show up was Ewan himself. He hopped out of the sexy black caddy TIFF had provided him with and went straight to doing autographs for the fans, working his way toward me.

Whenever I encounter people that I really, really, really like, I shake uncontrollably and get super nervous and a half and if they ask me questions, I'll just answer with the first thing that comes out of my mouth, thinking excluded. Oh fun. SO, I was expecting to just see him up close and have him maybe smile at me as he signed the sleeve. He got closer and closer and I got more and more nervous until suddenly, he was stopped straight in front of me, looking me right in the face with those bright blue eyes.

I don't care what anyone thinks, he is, in fact, just as attractive in person, if not more so since you can smell him. Anyway, he stood there staring at me for a fraction of a second before asking, "How are you?" and taking the sleeve from me to sign it. I didn't even know what I was saying until after I had said it. "So in love with you, you have no idea."

Not at all what I had planned on saying to him, but it was the truth... so it worked, I guess. He flashed me one of his pretty smiles and glanced down at my hands. "You're shaking like a leaf," he commented. I guess I sort of nodded or something and then suddenly, he was leaning in and his lips were against my cheek. I suddenly snapped to my senses and kissed him back on his excellently scruffy cheek. Scruffy is good, trust meeee.

I don't really remember what happened after that to be honest, but a while later George Clooney showed up and I couldn't even breathe. He sounded ever so disappointed that he had to encounter Batman, and I did apologize (breathlessly), but all the same, he decided to sign right across Ahnold's forehead. High-larious. George Clooney might be a bit of a douchebag, but he's definitely a riot.

So yeah, that was my September 11th, 2009. Best day ever? I think yes.

Hot For...

Priest. Yeezzz pleeezzz.

So. In Angels and Demons, which I saw today, Ewan McGregor (do.want.) plays a priest. I like priests and noses... which is why the Rosenrot music video is so good. They're all... repressed and weirdly religious. So hot.

I got the epic giggles every time he would be on screen. He's too adorable! Also. I've seen him naked in at least 2 different movies. He's very nice to look at when he's naked.

Talking of naked. I saw Flake's wang. The whole thing. I've also seen Till's... not the whole thing, but part of it. And Viggo Mortensen's. I'm sure there are more... but they're probably all far less exciting than the above.

Oh. I lied. I've seen Heath Ledger's junk too.

A Little More Jean Reno

Oh. Dear. <3

Watch.

<3 Wasabi. <3 Jean Reno. <3 Hubert. <3 Momo.

PatPatPatrick Ddddempsy

...is my lover? I wish. He's way too boss for words. Due to technological upgrades and updates, etc. I am finally able to watch Enchanted again. YAY! I adore this movie so much. I used to watch it all the time, and I'm sure I soon will again. It's so Disney, but it's like... live action too. I can't say how much I love this movie, I like it too much. Also, I can now watch a bunch of Grey's Anatomy episodes since those were also saved on my external hard drive! YAY!!!

I love ritz crackers as well.

Hittin The Board For The Lord

Saved! is such a boss movie. Chad Faust (I have his auto!!) And Patrick Fugit are such foxes frsrs.

So today I hung around not doing too much. My knee is fully functional now, although if I touch it, not so good.

Alexander Mac aka FrankenMac decided to restart on me, which means I won't be word processing any time soon as I've decided to just wait until I get a new computer to attempt to turn it on again I suppose I'll have to transfer my files now. I might as well save up for a new iPod and begin a new collection on a new computer as Hamish is nearly full anyway and I don't really bother keeping music files on Aly as they just slow it down and take up picture space.

Maxim DeWinter was going strong until it decided to conk out on the internet half way through the day, so I've been sticking to Alohisha GG for the rest of the day, not my fave as Maxim has the better battery and MSN. But oh well, I'm sure it'll fix itself eventually.

I found my nobabies noperiod pills in the back pocket of my nudies today, too late. I guess I'll just bleed this week and not worry about it for another 3+ months. Not so much yay. I'm awkwardly crampy, which is hella weird as I don't usually get crampy anymore. Oh well.

I decided to get back on my skateboard today and skated down to metro for something to drink. I ended up with green poweraid and bugles as its vegan and yummy. I ate them a little quick and got queasy to Andrew WK. I decided to go chill with the roomies. That was good fun. Some hilarious guys came over and everyone tried as hard as they could to get me to take a hit of weed or a sip of their vodka, however as I say, "I don't drink or do drugs."

So then they called me straightedge. *eyeroll* Which is hella lame. Being clean doesn't require a lable just like drinking occasionally doesn't either, so why the fuck be pretentious and give it one? I haiiiiiight sXe people who are oh so proud to call themselves straightedge. Get a life and get over yourselves.

So now a total of 10 or so people have seen my tattooed ass. Ahahaha, the only person who has seen it more than once is meeee!!! I don't show it off much, butt I like to look (see what I did there?).

I think I might have athsma. I'll wait until I get a healthcard to explore that further. The last time I smoked a cigarette, half nearly killed me (and then I almost died falling down a run on my snowboard because it mellowed me out way much) and then I had this crazy hacking nasty cough when people were smoking pot in the kitchen... So yeah, I'll get that checked out. I've discovered that I'm not deaf in my left eat; my headphones just suck ass.

Last night I had this epic dream about Jurassic Park, which has me jonesing to read the book again. Last time, I distinctly remember listening to it on tape early early in the morning, in the spring, while having bought a ton of shit, chai tea, and hot dogs from 7/11 and then having them with mama in the livingroom. And then later probably skipping school as I often did when I was a junior. It was a fun year. I like that I only really went to high school for two years. Everyone always says, "yeah, it sucks; but you have to go," when really, you actually don't have to go at all. Obviously.

I'm dyyying to nerd out over JPark when I finally get my hands on a copy. I'm also looking forward to reading Nabakov's Lolita. Fersher. I hear its megahellauber dirty as fuck. Oh goodie. I've wanted to read it ever since I heard that one Police song.

Probably work on cleaning the room tomorrow. It needs it + my keys are AWOL/MIA/POW. Sleep now though. I neeed it. Shaved my sides today with clippers I found + can put hair in ponytail. Stoked!

Must see ily, man.

Oscar Special: 2009

My appologies for the lack of updates as of late. Not much of interest has happened lately. Oh, my hair changed colours again as per usual. Its blonde and cotton candy pink.

Best Picture: Slumdog Millionaire
My thoughts: I think that The Curious Case of Benjamin Button should have won. It was an amazing movie, and yeah, okay, maybe the only one I saw, but still.

Best Actress: Kate Winslet
My thoughts: Way to go Kate! Not only is she a positive rollmodel for girls everywhere and stunningly gorgeous; Kate is amazing in nearly everything she does. I have never seen a movie where I disliked her acting.

Best Supporting Actor: Heath Ledger
My thoughts: He totally deserved it. A moment of silence fo him please.

Best Makeup: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
My thoughts: This was the clear winner. The prosthetics were flawlessly done and Pitt de-aged seamlessly. Very impressive and definitely Oscar worthy.


Apparently I sleep with the european masses. The London schoolchildren, and the Moscow partiers.

I'm Sure This Shouldn't Be This Funny

I'm pretty sure this shouldn't be this funny, but I can't stop laughing about it. I'm currently watching a pirated bootleg copy of Happy Feet that my shitty ex boyfriend and his currently incarcerated cousin (they're probably both in jail right now, actually) probably stole out of a car they broke into with Brad's bestfriend Juggalo Jay, who in turn, gave the stolen case of CDs and DVDs to me.

I think it's hilarious. Also, as a note on Brad and Erich's incarceration, I'm pretty sure a list of their charges includes grand theft auto and arson.

Now I'm wondering why I've never watched this movie before. It's kind of hilarious.

I Was Dancing When I Was Three

So, the other day, a mouse visited me in my room. Surprised me rather much. It was kinda cute though. It was little and brown. Didn't stay long. I haven't mentioned it to my roommates yet.

Saturday, David came and we basically did a restaurant crawl. We started with cookies and chocolate bars, then went down the street for Japanese food. Then up and over to Bloor and Spadina for pizza at Cora's. That was funny... apparently some drunk guy tried to fight a cop and 4 other cop cars showed up and they held him down and stuff. We were watching out the front of the window. It was really funny. After that, we went to get nachos at Sneaky Dee's, but the bouncer didn't accept my Michigan ID (which doesn't look fake at all). So we went across the street to the Bistro and got a mini pitcher of screwdriver and then two shots each. They tasted yummy! We then went down to a boss pizza parlour/general restaurant at Queen and Parliament and got yummy vegan soup.

We came back to my house and watched Enchanted, and then David went home. Best Valentine's Day EVER. Haha, mostly because although we are single people, we're not the creepy bitter ones who complain about cutesy couples who probably hate each other anyway.

Yesterday, I watched fairy tale movies ALL. DAY. LONG. And this morning, I watched lots of Grey's, season five, say whaa?