PHOAAAAR!!!

He is high as balls and a half. Like omg. This is why I do not do cocaine. IT ISN'T SEXY!!

Die Weiße Fee Spannt Ihren Bogen

I went to a party the other night. There were copious amounts of hard drugs there. I was going to sample the cocaine as there was a line reserved especially for me, but I observed a bit before trying it and decided that despite what rock-stars may think, drugs are highly unattractive. As my friend David said, heroin chic does not equal heroin. I don't want white shit up my nose that other people can see there. It looks like creepy boogers. Like... really people? And then people act really strange when they're on coke. Being high is highly unattractive. I wonder if I was like that when I used to smoke weed... I'm sure I was a little hilarious... but was it that unattractive? Anyway, I like being the only sober one at parties, it makes me feel elite and better than everyone else. Since, you know, I'm completely above the influence... which in its own special way rocks harder than The Stones. Plus, I detest acting like I am any less intelligent than I am while killing off brain cells. Stupid idea. I have no idea why anyone would do that.

Another perk of being the only clear-thinking, sober one, is that you can easily get people to do stuff for you since they're confused and don't realize that you're manipulating them. They also promise things that they later don't remember and don't expect you to remember... but of course you do since you were sober at the time. In this way, I got some guy to buy me a $20 breakfast at Sadie's the next morning.

Epic. Win.

You Got The Teeth Of The Hydra Upon You

Today was amazing. Well... tonight was, at any rate. I had SO much fun!

Today I went to the bank and they told me that I needed a guardian's signature to open an account since I'm not 19 which was LAME. So I called Mum and she said that I should kindly request Uncle Jay to accompany me to the bank at some point in the near future to do so. I couldn't cash my check, which sucks because I have NO money. GUHFUCKMYLIFE. Anyway, after that, I went on Craig's List really quick and looked up basses. I found this uber pretty Fender sunburst bass. I want it so bad! It's $250 Canadian, so I think if I put aside $50 a week, I can buy it in no time. So great!

Anyway, Andrea gave me her rockstar + vodka lite which was pretty yummy... but it kind of tastes like bug spray or something. Oh well. Kim's boyfriend's older brother and I were talking. His name is Chris. We decided to go to Strange Love instead of Fin's, which, in my opinion, was an awesome decision!! The security guard took a glance at my fake Virginia ID, and nodded me in. I waited until after I got inside to flip out. It was so great. I'm dying to go again next Thursday.

Chris got me a vodka and cranberry juice which was yummy and then we danced for a while. I made a new friend, Rob! He's so nice. It was the funniest thing ever, he kind of fell over on me while we were dancing, and was like, "OMG, I'm SOOO sorry!!!! I had a little too much to drink." He's so adorable. I told him it would be fine as long as he gave me a hug, and he totally did. I told him how cool I thought skate4cancer is, and he gave me even more hugs! Chris decided to go home, so I hung out with Rob and his buddy Cole. Rob bought me a shot of something... I think it was rum? I dunno, it was yummy. He promised me a dance, but then he kind of disappeared, so I guess I'll have to collect it some other time. I hope he doesn't feel too hung over tomorrow. That would suck!

Anyway, I met a bunch of other really cool people. And then I took a taxi home and have NO money. Yay! Oh well. At least I have food. I'll have money soon, I'm sure. I hope to get a job soon as well. I'm working on that. After I see what's going on with the tattoo parlour, I'll either be working there, or go job hunting around. I hope I get the job!!!! Anyway, I'm probably going to watch Love Actually, and then go to SLEEP.

I LOVE TORONTO!

'Cause I Came, And I Saw, I Conquered All

Jesus fucking Moses on a cracker. I thought yesterday was fun. Today was the best ever. I'm sure tomorrow will suck or something though.

This morning/afternoon when I woke up, I made a resume for jobs and stuff and then went grocery shopping.

When I got back, my roomie Mel told me about this flash mob that was going on where everyone was going on the subway and taking their pants off. Hahahaha. Epic.

We went down to Queen's Park and met with everyone. I met awesome new gay buddies. So we got on, took our pants off, took pictures, and rode around for a while before getting separated. Hahaha. She had my pants in her bag.

I met a bunch of random awesome people and we went around half naked. And then went to a bar where I kept getting free drinks. It was SO much fun.

I love this town.

Who Had The Best Week Ever?

So today was the best ever. I might possibly have a job at a tattoo parlour. MAYBE.

I walked all around Queen West which is like falling down the rabbit hole.

I got a hilarious fake ID that says I'm 20 and from Virginia. Hahahahahahaha.

I decided that being sXe was a Michigan thing. All my roomies party hard and as long as I'm not smashed, I don't mind partying along with them.

We went to their old roommate's bday party and I got given some gin, a beer (which was gross so I only drank half), and a rockstar plus vodka which was epic and got me tipsy perfect.

Meh

I guess I'm straight edge now. I wish there were a better name/term for it. I guess I just won't call myself that.

I don't like sXe people. For the most part, the ones who flaunt it especially, are a bunch of eleitist asses who I'd rather not associate myself with.

Libby thinks I should get a straight edge xXx tattoo. I'd rather not. It's way lame. Actually, being straight edge itself is super lame. I dislike lables.

But yeah... On a more positive note, the one and only time I ever got drunk was a whole year ago.

Baby I'm Your Man

So today I had too super weird dreams, both involving death and one involving schizophrenic juggalos on public transportatin. Wtf is wrong with my head is indeed a mystery, especially to me.

Anywho, when I finally got my ass off the couch where I currently sleep, I took a shower, and, for the first time in at least 9 months, I did my hair up. Of course I've had a mohican/mohawk/whatever for nearly a year but this is only the second time I've ever bothered to put it up. The first time my hair was nearly too long so I decided I wouldn't bother and then it went away for a while but now its back so I figure why the hecks not? My grandmother hates it.

Awkward Uncle Dave came tonight we had an excellent time with camera phones at dinner. Uncle Dave and I hve come to the conclusion that Shanye (Told) looks almost exactly like a young Lyle. This is probably why I don't find him remotely attractive, if I did, that would probably be way awkward and a half because not only is Lyle married with two children, he is also my cousin. Ick.

Anyway David and I decided to go out and get eggnog and such. Or, as I apparently like to call it while playing word games, eegnog. Fun times. Anyway, I convinced him to buy a whole bunch of other stuff since I guess my mother didn't warn him that I'm tricksy like that. Veganog is a billion times yummier than actual eggnog which is apparently supposed to be ingested with alcohol. Growing up with two rather straight-edge parents, I was unnaware of this custom. Talking of which, I always sort of think about becomming straight-edge again, but I really don't see the point as I hate being drunk, so I don't do that anyway and my lungs don't let me smoke weed all that often, but I would kind of miss all the terribly amusing things I say when I'm high. Such as, "if I die, don't tell my mother." I'm a weirdo, but I love it.

Anyway, my mother and uncle and I pissed off the grands who decided to go to bed early. My grandma is ace. She's half way between a bitch and a comedian and I never know when she is actually serious. I'm in stitches whenever she's around. My (step) grandfather is from England so he's adorrably British. He used to be devistatingly handsome but now he's just old and has parkinsons, so he's just kind of endearingly steriotypical. My actual grandfather died before I was born, but from what I hear he was kind of an assbag, so I'm not all that dissappointed about never having met him. My mum's dad was aces enough anyway, although he was a little wonky at the end due to alzheimers.

A game of scrabble at which everyone cheated was played and I got away with the most epic of word combos. Ive and ven just by putting a random v down somewhere. I'm amazed that I got away with such bullshit.

Anyway, happy Christmas.

If You Must Falter Be Wise

So... yesterday, for the first time in my life, my mother asked, for serious, if I was on drugs. I laughed, and she asked what and how often. I gave her the honest answer that I don't do drugs, thank you very much. It was kind of startling that she actually thought I was on drugs, when really, I'm off drugs.

Anyway, today I half-raked the leaves. I got cold though, so I watched TV and had soup. And then I put my cat in my coat to keep me warm and went and raked the rest of the front yard and it was dark by then, so I just kind of gave up.

I got home and got this excellent e-mail from SuicideGirls telling me that I'd be totally perfect for the site and such. I'm waiting until I move to fill out the rest of my application though. But yeah, I was pretty fucking excited about that.

Disturbia is currently my drug of choice.