Jesus.

Good Lord I hate border patrol. Today was the family Christmas party in River Canard, which is about 20 minutes outside of Windsor.

I woke up early enough and made myself some tofu noodles with soy sauce and molasses which were super yumm. Anyway, I talked to Alex on the phone forever which was aces. I went and got gasoline and gatorade before heading across the border.

So, my car is super mess and I have like... 6 or so stolen McCain lawn signs in there. I told the guy at customs what was in the back, clothes, shoes, stolen McCain lawn signs, and he thought I meant like... jacked street signs and told me he could get me arrested. He scared the shit out of me for like... 3 minutes just talking about that and then clarified exactly what kind of signs they were. He was like, oh... well that's childish but fine. Go ahead to your family party. I was like, HOLYFUCKINGSHIT.

Anyway, family party was good. Marty is a TOTAL brat and a half. The first thing he says when I walk in is, "you look weird." I was like, "durrr... i AM weird." Uncle Joe was there, which was way cool. I miss him. Since he got divorced from Aunt Renee, he never comes around anymore so it was aces seeing him. Anyway, we did the white elephant thing and I ended up with some decidedly non-vegan candy... oops. Oh well. I ate it anyway. No use wasting excellent Toblerone and Worther's.

Anyway, I went home and on the way through the border, got asked if I had been arrested or did drugs at least 3 times each. I was like, no. Seriously. But yeah... fun times. I got some fries at Maccas because they're so epic. When I got home I interneted for a while before talking to Alex for the first time in FOREVER. I miss him!!! Anyway, a little ways into the conversation, he asked if I was really pregnant.

WHHAAAAATTT?!?!!?!!? Um... no. I'm not.

Anyway, apparently Mrs. Smith didn't get that the preggo ness was a halloween costume. So she told her husband, Greg, Alex, and a bunch of other people. AWKWARD. Anyway, I cleared that up fast.

I'm hanging out with my friend Brendan tomorrow and then he's taking me to get my lip pierced. YEE!!! I'll post pictures. But first we're gonna make OUTTTT. Yay! I'll have a new answer to put on surveys besides, Libby, as the last person I kissed. Hahaha.

Yeah. Awkward day.

It's Not Real Joe

Yeah, yeah, I've been naughty not updating lately. Sorry.

My Chiodos/Silverstein tickets came in the mail the other day. I haven't been home in forever since first I was visiting mum and packing stuff and such, and now I'm babysitting the cats again. I had to stay up all night last night so that I could actually be awake to sign for a cheque. Then I went to sleep and slept until like four or so.

I called Erin to see if she wanted to go trick or treating with me. We were either going to be two general guys, Trace Cyrus and Mason Musso, or something else undecided. We ended up going as a couple from Kentucky. She was a guy with a mullet and a ridiculous fake moustache and I was rather convincingly pregnant. Which I kind of enjoyed.

We first went around Oak Park, and then to Pleasant Ridge to see Mrs. Smith, which is always fun. She was handing out Jolly Ranchers, which rocked because they're totally vegan. SCORE! Anyway, Mr. Smith wasn't there because FHS had a football game, which was super dumb because it was Halloween.

At this one house, this guy was like, "Well I can tell what you are, haha," and looking at my belly. And I was like, "What?" and made it seem like I actually was pregnant, and he was so embarrassed. It was hilarious. We wondered how many people actually thought we were pregnant.

After PR, we went to 7-11 because I wanted a slurpie. Those cravings, ya know? Haha. Anyway, after that, we went to Royal Oak where they were handing out whole big candy bars, which I really couldn't eat anyway. Apparently Erin's cute older brother Bill was somewhere around there... fun stuff.

After we were done in Royal Oak, we went to see KT and Don and stuff in Ferndale. We stayed there for a while. It was pretty funny, because KT was all poking my belly and then after a minute she was like, "Whoa, wait! Please tell me you're not actually pregnant, because that totally feels real!" Then Don came a bit later and was like, "Wait... you're pregnant?" and we all started laughing and he was so confused and finally his friend was like, "Clearly it's fake because they're all laughing."

A while later, Joe finally came. As soon as he walked over, Don goes, "Hey Joe! Jordan's pregnant!" and he's all like, "Whatt??" and he goes, "It's fake.... right? .... .... right? ... it is fake, right?" it was funnier than sin. It wasn't until we were all leaving that KT was like, "It's not real Joe." It was so mint.

After we left, we went back to Erin's and watched Juno while I sorted out my vegan candy from my non-vegan candy and gave Erin the non-vegan pile. Too bad there weren't any blue slushies to go with my Juno-ness....