After The Eulogy

This morning Mum and I went to Aunt Pat's funeral. In my humble opinion, funerals are the worst thing on earth... just short of silverfish, getting blood drawn, and seeing people throw up.

When my mum was in nursing school, Pat was her roommate, and then they started dating and had grand drinking adventures, such as bringing a full body resuscitation anne dressed in the school uniform to the bar with them and then getting caught while sneaking it back in. My parents were at the conception of Pat's son, Jesse. A bit awkward I guess. But apparently they decided to have a party to artificially inseminate Kris, so my cousin was conceived surrounded by lesbians.

I was born in Seattle, and when we moved to Michigan when I was two weeks old, we lived at Pat and Kris' house. We had Canadian Thanksgiving at their house, went over every Christmas to exchange presents, had birthday parties together, and sometimes went over for dinner just for fun while I was growing up. Pat and Kris were basically second parents and my mum is one of Jesse's many godmothers.

Until today, I hadn't seen any of them for about five years. Last time I saw Aunt Pat, I never thought it would be the last time I would ever see her in my life. I can't stand the fact that I'm never going to see her again. I'll never get to hug her, and I will never hear her laugh again, and Aunt Pat was ALWAYS laughing; her laugh stands out among all my other memories of her. I missed her before she died, words pale in comparison to my current feelings. I kind of just expected her to walk in laughing at the funeral, just for fun, it's really hard to believe that she's gone.

My mother discovered my "Imperio" tattoo at the funeral which was slightly comical. I was adjusting my bracelets and she glanced down and asked, "What's that?" Thinking she was talking about one of my new bracelets which has a scorpion encased in glow in the dark resin, I said, "A scorpion." She grabbed my hand, turned it over and stared at my wrist for a minute. Oh. That. She didn't ask, just sort of shook her head.

There was a reception sort of thing back at their house. The food was epic. I walked in and wondered aloud if there was anything I could eat, and at least five people started pointing out things that were vegan. I was like, how did you know? It was a little crazy. Afterward, I stood around with mum while she talked to a bunch of people about how my mother's brain is deteriorating. Pleasant. I just love thinking about it, especially after a funeral. When my parents die, I probably wont go to the funerals. I don't think I could stand it.

I came home and danced around my room naked to Rihanna's "Disturbia" I seriously love that song.