Harry Potter Is Thirty Years Old

Technically.

Since he was technically born in 1980.

But I always like to think of him as my age.

ALSO.

It's JK Rowling's birthday today as well.

Ohmylife would be so different if she didn't exist. The whole world would be different. People wouldn't be half as awesome.

I'm so fucking old, I remember a world where Harry Potter wasn't mainstream. I remember wondering what on earth would happen next. I distinctly remember spending 4 midnights of my life, waiting in line at Borders for the next book... and then barely being able to wait the ride home to read it.

So happy birthday to you Harry Potter, the boy who lived. <3

Things To Do Before I Die

My mum thinks that my only goal in life or something was to see Silverstein as often as possible. It's not. So. Here are (almost) all of the things I want to do before I die.

1. Surf pipeline on the north shore of Oahu.
2. Live in Hawaii.
3. Work in a surf shop.
4. Play on a roller derby team.
5. Go to Austin, Texas.
6. Live in Europe.
7. Be in a movie.
8. See Rammstein play live.
9. Get my left arm tattooed from wrist to shoulder.
10. Meet Bill Nighy.
11. Write a novel.
12. Go to New Zealand.
13. Work in a chocolate factory.
14. Work in a skate shop.
15. Have plastic surgery.
16. Be a snowboarding instructor for at least one season.
17. Become fluent in another language.
18. Work at Disney World.
19. Go to Japan.
20. Build my own bike, starting with a bare frame.

AHAHAHAHAHAHA HOME!!!!!! HOME HOME HOME!!!

I am SO excited to be home, you don't even know.

My mummie is coming to visit in less than a week (yay!), and my friend Ryan is coming to visit at the beginning of next month.

But, until then, I have days all by myself to go surfing, rollerskating, and ABOVE ALL MY FAVOURITE ACTIVITY ON EARTH....

BIKING!!!!

I'm so happy. ^_^

I Refuse To Admit That This Is A Sunburn, Home Sick Edition

I'm a bit toasted.
A bit crispy.
Deeply tanned.

But certainly not burnt.
Even though my skin is red.
And it stings.

But it's not peeling.
I doubt it will.

No. This is not a burn.
I don't get burnt.

Certainly not in California, anyway. I only get sunburns in the Caribbean.

As usual, though, I'm home sick.

For New York City.
For Europe.
For Pleasant Ridge.
But most of all, for Toronto.

I want to sleep in my crap "bed".
And make disgusting food in my "kitchen".
I want to get off in my "apartment".

I miss my bike. So much. I miss feeling that free.
I miss my friends. I can't wait to go to the beach and to movies with them.
I miss my knee pads. Forget rollerskating without them.
I miss Canada's drinking laws. Because even though I don't really drink, it's always nice to not have people say, "No. You're too young."

And for the love of God, I miss my fucking vibrator. And living alone, for that matter.

I miss my high-speed wireless internet connection.
I miss my dvd collection.
I miss Parkdale.
I miss the summer weather.
I miss sesame snaps.

I can't wait to go surfing on Lake Ontario.
I can't wait to play soccer on the nude beach on the Islands.
I can't wait to get back to the bike shop.
I can't wait to have my Mum visit.
I can't wait to be naked all the time.
I can't wait to reunite Jimmy and troll Toronto.
I can't wait for late night bike rides, midnight swims, and falling off surfboards.
I can't wait to celebrate Harry Potter's birthday with my bestfriend.

I can't wait to be home.

My Mother Is In The Kitchen

In a clever black plastic box. When I die, I want to be in a black plastic box too. I fully intend to keep said box for later. Its quite handy and would be waste to throw away.
I doubt anyone else wants it.
The reason it's so heavy is because of her bones. It's interesting, really, how much heavier ashes are than you would think they'd be.

Up Chuck

The last time I threw up, I was 18 and it was the day after Thanks Giving. Yummy! I had the stomach flu and barfed popcorn all over my mom's bed... Which I, of course, thought was hilarious.

But I'm usually pretty good at not making too big of a mess. Actually. This is a lie. It's about 50/50.

Anyway, this afternoon, I puked tomato soup, bile, and water. Which was cool because it just tasted like puke and I won't be traumatized by tomato soup or anything.

I love how much I don't mind throwing up in comparison to how much I do mind anyone throwing up anywhere near me. The only thing I mind so much is that godawful retching noise... Am I being gross? Oh well. It's MY blog. I just covered my ears and turned on the bath water.

Morbid fascination. Whatever.

:{D

That's my new "pervert face" emoticon.
I use it when I see pictures of people like Robert Downey Jr.
I hope you like it.

My friend calls it my "raep fais".

The Worst Thing Ever

The worst thing that will ever happen to you and your mouth, is when you spy some chocolate chip cookies, and you grab one and start eating it... ^_^

Only to realize that that shit is rasins. -_-

That's some fucked up shit. :<